Originally uploaded by jcasta
So for sometime I have been feeling a little odd and can’t really think of why. Last night I went to play a game of Settlers of Catan with a few friends and we had a blast. Granted it would have been better had we had the one person that had agreed to show up the week prior. We weren’t really mad as much as a little frustrated because we kind of were looking forward to spending time together. School, work and things have been getting in the way as of lately making it hard to spend time with friends so it felt bad not seeing my friend.
I think it’s even better when I look back on all the things that I used to do and all the things I wanted to do with my future at that point in my life. I remember when I was in fifth grade one thing that nearly made me cry was when we had to tell the teacher what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said I wanted to be a soccer player. To my surprise she looked at me and in a calm voice said: Have you thought about something else?
Boy was I disappointed when I heard those words in that order. She then went on to tell me to think about something that was a bit more realistic for me because the odds of being a professional soccer in America was almost slim to none. I mean the thing about that wasn’t so much the statistics. At that age I was still the rebellious type in thinking that I could be the one to prove her wrong but she had to dash that feeling like an ant at a picnic….
She told me to think about an alternative and the things that I was good at and how I could use it to make a life out of it. She told me that one of the other kids had a better chance of being an astronaut than me being a soccer player. That was a good feeling at my age. For some reason though I kept wanting to be a soccer player. That was until I broke my femur. Then it just felt like things were not going to be the same from there on out for me and it really wasn’t. Karate was different. I rarely wanted to play the field games I got so used to playing and enjoying like I had prior. Things change and all I can really do is go with it.
Years later and here I am typing on a computer, listening to Pandora One and looking back at my past and how happy I was. Don’t get me wrong I am happy. Very. There are just times in my life when I keep thinking about the what ifs. It does feel weird looking at toys and games now and comparing them to the ones I grew up with. I guess things will always keep changing…