There have been so many things running through my head these past few days. The biggest one of course is school. The next would be money and followed by work. It may sound a little strange only because I typically don’t worry about work. At least I try not to. I think the one thing that really did it was a customer at Starbucks. The other day a regular asked me how much longer I was going to be doing the two job thing. Honestly, I don’t know why I was brutally honest with him when I said I’m not sure.
I know that I am capable of great things and want to do those great things but the question that really popped into my mind was when will I? I have wanted to get a new job for what feels like forever but never really pursued that. I am happy with one and at times fight with myself with the other. I feel like I have to convince myself of why am I doing it. Don’t get me wrong I love what I do and I often times wish I didn’t have to worry about anything else in my life but I am not in a perfect world. I have put far too much thinking into this and I know that I would truly love to start my designing career while I am in school so that I can get as much knowledge and experience as possible.
What’s really funny is that in the next semester of school I will be finally starting to use Dreamweaver for the first time and I cannot wait. History of graphic art will be a fun course, I think and my ethical and critical thinking class will be a hard one for me. I think the challenge will be finding my rhythm and balance between work schedules and school time to post and do the assignments. If I only had to worry about one work schedule it would be amazing because then I can plan a designated time for posting and whatever else I need to do before the due dates.
I worry about money only because everybody else does. People around me are often times timid about mentioning it and I feel the same way. As if it was a cursed subject or better yet that little itch that we are all afraid to say where but you know we are thinking it. I worry because I know that my friends don’t have it and I want them to. Have money that is. We as a whole should not be worried about these little things but unfortunately we all do because we all think that it will enrich our lives by spending it on what we think are luxury items. Granted I have done the same thing from time to time so I am really in no position to talk. But I feel like some of the material things we buy are for nothing; just for show. Perfect example would be things that most people don’t even see. A nose job.
I worry about my job because I know that I am not as happy as I can be. Now, I’m saying that I am miserable but there are times when I really do have to psych myself to even consider going into work. I will look at the clock and wonder if I have enough time to call in sick and if I do what will happen. But then I start to think about how things will roll and what things will be said and hesitate and finally decide to go. I shouldn’t have to do that. It’s even funnier because I only do that for one of the jobs.
I think for now I will be content to the best that I can but will be thinking about what I really should be doing as far as a job. I have thought about working in a printing press or something similar. There are a few local places but have been hesitant about inquiring. I need to get something rolling so I can change my mood.
I think that I will start by coming up with website ideas and start with my own. Design should be fun and implementation will be even more fun. I hope to post my experiences here and will do my best to keep both up to date and current on my status. Even if it means a small post here and there but at least I will be posting and getting my thoughts out.
Now, to get some ideas down on paper…