A relapse of fear and emotion

Reflection

Model

This past year has felt like such a blur and it almost feels like I haven’t made any progress. On the contrary! I have made a lot of progress and have learned a lot of things along the way. The one key thing I have learned is that the little family Jamie and I have made is extremely and overly artistic.

So let me fill you in on a few things. Over the years Jamie has had some art showings that I don’t mind attending. When I say attending I mean both there physically and emotionally. I get just as excited, if not more, about her showcasing her artwork. You may say that it’s my job as her husband and best friend to support her but that’s not always the case. At least not for us. There have been times when we are reluctant or just won’t but that’s neither here nor there.

The other thing that you have to know is that we both love art. Jamie took ceramics, painting, sketching and you name the style she most likely has taken that course related to art or has read about it. I have always loved any type of expression of the human mind. From graffiti to acting, I love art and the way it is subtle in our everyday lives.

Now, these art showings have taken the two of us to so many places. Most notably the big island of Hawaii. Yesterday she was setting up for Second Friday.

Present

The reason I bring up the past is because it is needed to understand our current life status. For the past nine months Jamie has been a stay at home mom. The way we both think and act has changed a little bit. We can’t always just decide we want to go down to the bay area and visit the Museum of Modern Art or go make our way down the coast to visit a park to experience some random hiking. Things have changed. I’m by no means saying for the worse. In fact the complete opposite.

I’m happy to be at home relaxing, watching our little man fall, smile, laugh and just enlighten us with things we never would have experienced had it been just the two of us.

Now that Jamie wants to rejoin the workforce it hasn’t quite been the easiest thing in the world for her. The reason I say this is because Jamie was never the fully outgoing type. She and I have that one thing in common. Fear of stepping out of our comfort zone. It’s not always easy for some.

When she got her first interview I could tell she not only was nervous but frightened as well. It took every fiber of her being to step outside that door and create a new path. I think that is the one thing I will admire most about her. She inspires me to believe. To believe in not just myself but in the three of us as a whole.

A lot of it derives from our nearly ten-year relationship too.

What next?

Our future isn’t set in stone and I’m glad. I don’t always like knowing the ending of something. With Jamie, I think the one thing I’m most ecstatic about is what will be in store for us all. One of the things that always made me happy was seeing her get super nervous and anxious about her next art show. Now, it’s watching her chase SJ around trying to change his diaper. Yeah, things have changed but like I said for the best. I’m just happy we get to experience it all together.

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