A little bit of loneliness

No. I’m not alone. Far from it. The reason I say it that way is because I’m currently sitting at work, writing, listening to 80’s pop music and reading a post about fish. Yes, fish.

Part of the reason is because I logged on to my Facebook and saw a WordPress.com link. I do read those. Just don’t always post about them. This time a little bit different in that it comes from a friend.

The quote and line that first popped was, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea.” I, then, began to think about all the people I’ve met over the years. A lot. Let’s just say that. A lot. I’ve come to know many of those on a closer level as well. I married one of those fishes. We’ve been stuck fighting, arguing and raising a child together for what feels like too long.

I’m serious. We’ve both made mistakes down the road. We are after all human.

Over the years, I have made several friends. The thing I find most interesting is that I often feel like I’ve lost contact with many of those. Yeah, I do have my days when I feel down. I know I rarely ever say it or will ever quite honestly. A lot of that is because it is how I feel and nobody else can change how I feel but me.

There are times when I do feel stuck. Times when I’m human.

I say it that way because if you have known me for a long time then you’ll know that I rarely sleep. Or so many will say. I do sleep but only for a small amount of time. I keep going despite how tired I can be sometimes and I feel like that will bite me in the butt down the road.

Over the years I got a slight reputation for being a robot because I could work days without any sleep and be perfectly fine. I’m still able to do it but now that SJ is around that has changed a little bit. I have to sleep. I have to rest more than before. It’s not because of age but because I want to soak up as much as I can. Life is amazing.

It’s true that the way you look at your own life changes once you have a child. Everything else gets put on hold and your entire dynamic changes. I have loved every moment of it.

Creating a family is –and will always– be the best choice I have ever made.


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