I’m home. Jamie by my side. We’re in our bed just laying, sleeping and soaking up as much of what will be the last few days of freedom. At least our own freedom. I keep thinking about work. I can’t really help it. It’s in my nature. If only I could turn it off.
Jamie gets up to use the bathroom. She tells me she’s feeling a little uncomfortable so of course I’m going to think nothing of this. I’m still laying in bed when she tells me that she called the advice nurse and they told her to go to the hospital just in case. Turns out she was having contractions. Minutes apart. for the last hour or so.
I joke with her about being admitted because our baby boy wasn’t due until June 10. At least that was the estimated date. Just a few days ahead of time. By three. Only three days.
What makes it rather funny is the night before we were talking about what we would do if our boy chose to arrive early. We brought up one of our friends who just had her son almost a month prior and was relieved to have gotten it over with.
We start making our way toward the hospital where Jamie will be delivering our little man and we can’t stop our brains from asking the same question: what are we forgetting?
We run through the list of things we might need if we have to stay. Overnight bag, slippers, a change of clothes, you know the whole shebang. We keep looping through it until we finally make to the hospital. We make our way to triage and they start documenting all the missing information.
Turns out SJ wanted to show up early. We will be staying.
Oddly enough one of the first things I do is check-in through my Facebook and within seconds I get a phone call from my manager. They got my shift covered just in case I was going to be admitted. Awesome! Now. we just had to play the waiting game with SJ.
Yeah, the waiting game.
Once, Jamie was setup in her room family started to show up. It was good, bad and all sorts of craziness. I’m sitting on a chair trying to make sense of it all and wondering how my child will look like once he’s born. So many things are being brought up, so many questions I have and so many fears.
A little trauma goes a long way
As I sit in the room watching Jamie cringe in pain I begin to think about our journey together and how it’s all lead to us creating a family.
I know I’ve brought up the fact Jamie had a miscarriage before SJ. It was a traumatic experience for the both of us. It truly strengthen our relationship. This was nearly a year before SJ was born.
I can recall the first time Jamie told me she was pregnant. I was at home and Jamie calls me up. All she really said was, “It’s positive.” My initial reaction was confusion. I was a little perplexed because I wasn’t really sure as to what she meant and was talking about.
Several weeks later I get a phone call at work and it’s Jamie. She’s crying. She tells me the tragic news that when they did a scan they found nothing. She lost the baby. To this day it still makes me want to cry as well. It hurts. Psychologically damaging. There really are very few words to share and describe that feeling.
I get home and she’s on the couch. I do my best to alleviate our situation. It’s all I can really do.
A few weeks pass and Jamie is at work. She calls and asks me to get some corn on the cob started for her. Right then and there I knew she was pregnant. Again. It wasn’t really like her to just randomly crave something like that. Something had to be up.
Later on we found out that she was pregnant. Joy!
The one thing I will say though is that if it wasn’t for our son we wouldn’t be as happy as we are now if she hadn’t miscarried. I do find it even crazier that the name we chose was very fitting as well. Salvador; which in Spanish means “saviour.”
Back at the hospital
Now, hours had passed since we were first admitted. It’s almost nine o’clock at night and Jamie is getting ready to push. Let the final steps of our family journey begin!
Our little man was born June 7 just shy of ten o’clock. As I held my son all I kept thinking was: Don’t kill him and you’ll be fine.