Good, now that I have your attention I guess I can really say what I wanted to say.
I love being a dad.
It is a great pleasure I know I take for granted. My son, SJ, turned two back in June and it has been a great ordeal to keep him inline. I mean inside. Yes, I do mean inside. The other day I nearly had a heart attack when we were getting ready to go to the store. I wanted to look around for a new tripod because my current one has slowly faded away and depreciated. The legs are still in really good condition but it has gotten harder to turn the head and make the adjustments I would like to make.
Now, I’ve had this tripod for nearly ten years, if memory serves me correct, and it is time for a new one. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s simply because I would like to be able to do more with my tripod and my current one does not allow me to do that. I want to experiment more and more with angles and motion but that is for another post.
My shift ended at four in the morning, rather than go home and try to sleep I lurked and read forum posts. Yeah, I do that from time to time. After reading some that made me want to slam my head on the concrete I figured it was time for me to go home and try to sleep for a bit. At least I hoped I would sleep.
I get home and naturally Jamie is asleep; SJ is halfway on his bed, little legs dangling off the side. It was cute to see once I got home. I rearranged him and began my typical routine. Go to the kitchen, grab a quick drink of juice and turn off all the lights. I looked at the clock and it was now six. Jamie had to be up in two hours. The day was going to be a fun-filled one. I set an alarm for myself and began to drift to sleep.
HONK!! HONK!! Okay, not quite like that but you get the idea. That woke me up and the fact that Jamie came up to me and told me, “Hey, I’m taking a shower, he’s in the living room semi awake. There’s coffee in the French press made for you already.”
Yeah, it was made only because I had asked her the night before or that morning when I got home; I can’t quite remember but it was made. I’m sure some of you are already saying: Yeah! Coffee! Drink some!
Nope, that didn’t happen once that alarm slapped me clear to Kingdom Come and back. I realized that I would have to try to tire out my son so he would nap around one in the afternoon. I got up, went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, did the eye blinky-twitch thing and splashed some cold water on my face. Because you know that really does a lot of good to wake you up. Not me. Just makes my face wet and a little cold.
I began to walk around the apartment looking for things that I wanted to get done for the day. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming and maybe cook. You know because I am Mary freaking Poppins and have all day to accomplish all the things in the world I want. Okay that sounded a little bitter. I say that only because I still have to master the whole planning a schedule and actually sticking to it thing.
So, I put some dishes in the dishwasher, fold the laundry and even hang it and put it all away. Organized the living room a little so there is actually room to walk and there is no obstacle course from the couch to the bathroom in the way.
Now throughout all of this my little one has been following me around asking and getting upset because all he wants is for me to hold him up. Rather than saying, “Up, please,” he says, “up, peas.” It’s adorable. Annoying after the first minute of hearing it nonstop but adorable nonetheless.
After having sorted all the clothes and some of the dishes I began to get ready so we could go to the park. I walk into the room and the cat is on our bed. Typical. SJ of course sees him and wants to sit next to him. He climbs the bed and begins to harass the cat. I say it like that only because the cat just wanted to be left alone to sleep; like most cats, right? So every so often I would hear the cat meow and SJ laugh a little.
I’m in our walk-in closet looking for an outfit for him to wear when I realize that it’s rather quiet. Too quiet. No cat meow; no laughter. I turn around and both are gone from the bed. I began to think the cat wanted to eat and went to the bathroom and SJ followed him. I check the bathroom. Nothing. I look towards the living room. Nothing. My heart drops and I began to freak out.
Where is he?!
He wasn’t in the kitchen, he wasn’t in our patio. Clearly he wasn’t in the bedroom, bathroom or living room. My reaction was to check the front door. He has this habit of unlocking the front door and opening it. It scares the living daylights out of the two of us. Naturally I start looking over the same spots thinking he was still inside our apartment; nope.
I go outside and see him in the parking lot pointing at my car. Yep, he was that much in a hurry to go to the park, I’m guessing, that he just couldn’t wait. Such a hurry that he forgot to even get dressed. So, now I’m freaking out that our neighbors will see him naked and alone. I rush over and pick him up. He’s still pointing at my car and saying, “go” as we walk back to the apartment.
It’s true, that did happen. I learned something that day. My kid is an escape artist. It’s funny only because I almost didn’t share this story. Perhaps I shouldn’t have. It’s a part of my life; something I will remember for the rest of my life and will cherish like no other. LIke I said earlier: I love being a dad.
I also mentioned that I often take for granted the fact I’m a father. It’s true. The reason I say that is because I’ve met several people who aren’t fortunate to experience what I am experiencing; albeit because of medical history or life choices. I feel super blessed that I have one son, blessed to have a child and to be able to experience the little and big things in not only his life but ours. It’s truly breath-taking. I can recall the moment I found out I was going to be a father. My heart began to race because I was nervous and excited at the same time.
These last two years have been amazing and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. There are times when I feel like I’m not being the father I wanted to be. It’s okay; I’m human. I will make mistakes and I will learn from them.