An unspookstacular night

Yep, a daily promptย that I just had to do. They can be fun. Gives me something to do and makes me think a little at the same time so I figure why not.

Now, let me set you the scene because this happened quite some time ago at work. Working overnights tends to have its perks. One of the them being you get to see some of the most randomest things. True that it is possible for it to happen during the day it is extremely different when it’s nighttime.

One night at Starbucks I was working my usual overnight shift. I’m cleaning one of the machines when I see a car drive past our front door.

“Ugh, I’m just wanting to clean here; go away!” is all I keep thinking and about a second later I say it out loud. Yes, I will often speak my mind but only in small intervals.

I’m waiting, waiting but no ding from the headset. I’m beginning to wonder if the car got lost in the parking lot. I mean it does happen but on rare occasions. After all the sign is pretty small and there is a gate that looks like it blocks the entrance to the drive thru but how hard is it to check?

Beep!

Finally the ding!

I greet them and wait for a response.

“Can you give us a second?” is all a man’s voice said as I get ready to take their order.

It may sound a little odd but when I began to take the order I was not where we usually are to greet a car. Typically we would be in front of the expeditor screen where there is a monitor above that screen that shows up the person’s driver side window. I wasn’t in front of that so I didn’t initially see this person as they drove up and stopped so I can take their order. I was, however, cleaning the espresso machine with my back turned to that particular screen setup.

I grabbed the towel that was next to me and wiped off my hands of the wet grounds. I went to turn around and get shocked by what I saw. I nearly twitched from the sight. My body did that jolt of shock and the little head shake from unbelievable-ness –yes, I just added ‘ness’ to that word.

I know it does sound a little odd that a man could make me react in such a way but it did happen.

What I saw was a shirtless man inside a minivan. Not just a typical, run-of-the-mill, everyday Joe type of man but a rather heavy-set man that consumes nearly two-thirds of my screen and what I feared was half his vehicle. Okay, a little exaggerated but it does provide you with a decent image of what I saw, right?

I say decent only because that image that will forever reside in my retina’s memory is really just that: a decent rendition. Let me go into a little more detail about the full image.

Let’s picture a basic car window. A driver side window to be exact. We’ll divide it into nine equal parts; sort of rule of thirds, photography thing that I like to reference. Now, picture the top-left, top-center and middle-left panels being the only squares that are empty, every other square is him. That’s about how much he took of the frame. His stomach was not only touching the steering wheel, it looked like it was getting ready to eat it.

I think the one part that really struck me as more disturbing was his man-boobs. Yeah, I said that. The closest a man should ever come to having those is by working out and some pretty heavy lifting. But at least then you would have a legitimate reason for having them and not just from eating your whole weight’s worth in a day.

Sorry. That view is one I will never forget.

If this offends you: not my intention. This just happens to be the way my brain works.

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