Understanding the way we are

The past couple of days have taken a toll on my mind. Mental health is one thing I can say I rarely ever think about. My own at least. I tend to put that in the back burner. A third thought if you will. Yeah, not even a second.

I put on Pandora and began a station. One song in particular got me thinking more than it really should. Motion City Soundtrack. Hello Helicopter.

http://rd.io/x/QW1I_jdNW5w/

The lyrics made me think and wonder. The ones in particular:

Hello helicopter,have you heard the news?
No one gives a shit about the things they do
We all waste and consume, destroy and ruin everything we touch
It’s easy not to think when you’re not told that much

The reason these particular words resonated harder than others is because it is something I feel has been a trademark lately in my life. It sounds really bad. It does. Knowing that everything we touch gets wasted, consumed and destroyed. Figuratively and literally. It makes me sad.

This rang super true a few days ago. It sounds really bad but I almost walked out of work. I think the biggest emphasis was:

No one gives a shit about the things they do

When I show up to work, I expect a certain level of – how can I put this – quality. I fully understand that not all shifts are the same. I do. I have worked just about every shift to know that; closing, open, overnight, swing. morning, and the occasional morning to afternoon. That’s a fun one because that’s when the customer mood changes.

A few other lines rang true:

Nobody seems to care

As much as I hate to admit this, it is super true. There are times when I work with some people who give off that vibe. Just stand around, do nothing and expect those around them to do everything for them.

I’m glad I didn’t walk out that night though. I would have felt so bad. Yeah, I have a heart; oddly enough. Many of my coworkers may not fully agree with that.

I think what amazes me most is how much one person can truly have an effect on you; even if that person is a co-worker.

Take what you can get

People are funny, people are crazy, and people amuse me.

All my life I’ve lived in a weird mood. A true rollercoaster of emotions. I question myself constantly and second-guess myself more than I know I should. It creates this internal conflict I’ve never liked. I’m ridden with guilt, grief, anger, and confusion.

I often stop to think about others and how their lives affect mine. That is part of the reason I’ve managed to stay within customer service for as long as I have. Ten years. Yeah. I began working at the age of sixteen.

Flashback

My junior year had just ended and I wanted to work anywhere. I wanted to experience what many people were griping about. The toils and troubles of waking up, making coffee, and dealing with people. I never thought about having a desk job. At least not applying for one. I applied at a place called Plutos Restaurant.

I called, asked if they needed help or were looking for help and made my way over to pick up an application. It was strange because when I arrived, the place wasn’t open for business. A guy in a white chef coat opened the door and let me in; he then locked the door and told me to follow him to the back office so he could print out the application. It was crazy to see so many Latinos preparing food, cleaning the floors, and setting up food for display and to be later served.

Yes. My people: Latinos.

I say it that way because they were of all nationalities. I got a chance to meet a lot of people from all over Central and South America. Many from Guatemala. I seriously felt super privileged to be a part of it. I still do.The reason was because I knew then that most of them were working to support themselves and their families.

Families. Emphasis on that part. The many I was honored to work with had families not only in the US but back in their home countries as well. You know what sucks the most? Knowing that they had to work twice as hard as I did. I didn’t know their back story; I still might not. They took any and all jobs and did it with happiness in their hearts.

Reminder

Yes, a lot of them struggled to maintain their families. They did what they did because they love their family.

The other day I saw a post that lit a small match under my tushie. I wanted to reply to it but was reminded of how some people don’t really know what it’s like to struggle. They don’t know what it’s like to be months behind payments, on the verge of being evicted from their home. Some think they are above that and certain jobs are beneath them. It’s a matter of dignity for them.

Dignity: bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.

I’m sorry but I don’t buy it. I just don’t. Nobody is above anything. A long time ago I read a great speech by Bill Gates and I think it really applies here too. It was on 11 things school doesn’t teach. My favorite is:

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping they called it Opportunity.

It’s true and many do forget that. I know I sometimes do and I have to remind myself that I’m one of the many that are fortunate enough to have a job. I’m super lucky I have a roof over my head and have the privilege to drive a car. Yes, I forget that sometimes.

So, yes, there may come a time when you really do have to take what you can get. Even if it means having to eat cat food to keep a roof over your head.

Off on a tangent

There comes a point in time when you really just have to say, “enough is enough.” You know that little push, that little nudge, that sends you over the hill and into the breaking point. The last straw that broke the camel’s back, I guess. Today, I came pretty close to it. I nearly lost my cool and began to rant.

I didn’t.

I kept quiet and began to think about why I do my job. Yes, I’m emphasizing that part. Why? Because it is a job. I do it by choice. I choose to be here and help people with their caffeine addiction and beverages intake. I’m super thankful and lucky to have this job. Some of the people I work with really forget that and it drives me crazy.

So crazy that I’m resorting to writing about it. Yes, I know some may read this but it’s true. Yes, I may act like I don’t want to be here but as I said it is an act. I frankly love working where I do. It’s some of the people who I work with that I’m not so happy about.

When I show up to work I shouldn’t feel like I’m going to be doing everything. I just shouldn’t. It happens every so often when I see who is working. It makes me even sadder when I hear the tone of voice change in some people as they near the end of their shift. A lot of them show it more than others. Really grinds my gears.

The tragedy is I have this happening more often that I care to count. This week has been full of playing catch-up and spot the mistake. I know a lot of it can be easily rectified but people choose not to do it. They feel like it’s not their job.

There are things that make me happy about this job though. The number one is the people I get to help and see. The interaction between them lifts my spirits up and makes me see how I like being. The greatest response I’ve gotten so far from a customer was, “you’re too happy for this job.”

The reason I like it is because it can be true. There are plenty of times in my shift when I’m far too happy to be doing this job, but you know what? That’s the beauty of it. I choose to be happy. I’m making the best of my situation and if I can make one person happy it’s been a good day.