A few days ago I saw a friend’s Facebook update saying that he missed going to the bathroom in his own place. It brought up an image of when we used to live in El Salvador. Yes, there are few memories that I have from my native country but when I do get them I get them vividly. There are times in my life when I wonder what I would be doing had my parents chosen to stay rather than move to the United States. I don’t regret the move at all. If anything I feel happy and thankful that they gave me this opportunity. I think that is what really kills me sometimes.
I feel like if I don’t succeed I will be letting down my family. I know they are proud of who I am and who I have become but that will always weigh over me. What really hit a chord with me was that I recalled a song when I saw that post. Fort Minor. The lyric: you boys got some work to do. It kept playing in my head. Over and over. Just can’t seem to lose it. I quickly kept thinking about people who are less fortunate than me and my friends. Why are you being so selfish? I asked myself. You have so much to be happy with and for.
Friends, family co-workers and the people who I randomly meet are all great things in my life. The roof over my head, the car I drive to work, the bike I ride from time to time, the computer I am using to type this out and the phone are just a few thing that I am happy and sometimes feel like I take it all for granted. I have so friends that enlisted and I can’t help but wonder how their family feels about it. I know some are proud, some are scared and very few don’t even know.
There really some people in this world that get things handed to them and I have never been one to like that. It drives me crazy to see how some people treat their child like they are the king or queen of everything in this universe. Showing compassion and caring feels lost in this generation that is growing up. There are few people who I have ever met in my life that I truly both respect and admire for having taught their children those very virtues that are slowly eroding from others. I think that is why I tend to be drawn to people who are caring, nurturing and mindful of others.
Ending this random rant and ventilation so I can focus my energy on something more useful like reading for my classes and doing my homework like I should be doing.
Lost in memories 
Well put. It didn’t seem like a rant, more like you were pondering life. I liked it. It made me think. Though I never had the privilege of growing up in another country, my roots still go back to central america as well. I look at my family and all of them are doctors or engineers. It’s tough realizing everyone is looking/counting/believing/hoping in you to follow them or make something of yourself.
Continue to follow what God has for you. That pressure you feel comes from your family simply wanting the best for you. A life loving, giving, caring, and pouring yourself out to others is a life well spent.(1 Corinthians 13:3)-7) I totally see you as someone who appreciates the beauty of life and the importance of hard work, both are great qualities.